Back to "Normal"
Today I went back to work. I met with my students, made phone calls, double-checked transcripts, wrote lessons, and went about a fairly normal day. But I found that my heart and thoughts were elsewhere. I had hoped that this week would be full of excitement and planning (not lesson planning, but baby planning), and instead, it was a letdown to have to go back to "normal." I felt empty and sad.
This is not the first grief in my life, not the first time I had to go back to school or work or church or whatever after dealing with a loss. And I know everyone reading this has had to do this, had to resume their normal activities after something completely not normal has taken place.
But it's hard, isn't it? It's such a part of life, I know, somehow picking up the pieces and going on. But that doesn't make it much easier.
This is not the first grief in my life, not the first time I had to go back to school or work or church or whatever after dealing with a loss. And I know everyone reading this has had to do this, had to resume their normal activities after something completely not normal has taken place.
But it's hard, isn't it? It's such a part of life, I know, somehow picking up the pieces and going on. But that doesn't make it much easier.
I keep thinking maybe we have lost something by discarding all our social mores, especially those grief related. Think how nice it would be to have a 'honeymoon', a whole month of newlywed getting to know each other, or just wearing black mourning so people know to tread with sympathy and care. There are times I even think the old tribal people who gave women a week off every month might have had something. Loves.
ReplyDeleteso I feel like I have been handing out "referrals" to your blog left and right and thought maybe I could refer one to you :). my friend Jackie lost her 4-month-old son about three years ago and started blogging through the process of grieving. check it out at jjarawan.blogspot.com (go back to the very beginning for some background info - she doesn't blog often so it won't take forever to catch up). hugs and prayers!
ReplyDeleteDebbie, I think you're on to something. We definitely live in a culture that isn't used to spending time in grief. I guess it's a hard balance, though, and it seems everyone faces loss differently. But I would have liked a week off to hide out :)
DeleteMarisa, thanks for the blog. I've been checking it out!